This is not my ceiling
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize
