I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
