she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
