we have officially lost it.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
