he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize