So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
organizing the empties. That sober.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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