We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
