Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
