I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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