I just made out with a guy for $7.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
