It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
