Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
and you fell through a lawn chair
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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