I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize