she was so not down for the gang bang
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
