she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
