he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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