At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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