Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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