i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
