True but thats because hes a fetus.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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