yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
