we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
