i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
