Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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