can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
