Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
