'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
