Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I would ride that face into the sunset
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
