quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
