brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize