i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
