Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
