so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
