Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
