did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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