ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
