Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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