Buhtt sex?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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