Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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