i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
