what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
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