Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
