dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
