at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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