It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
