Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
