Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
