I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
