why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Randomize
