I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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