I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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