i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize