Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
