If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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