I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
