Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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