is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
