um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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