I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
