K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
im holly from the hills drunk
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
