i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I licked your asshole in confidence.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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