I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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