her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I need to calm my uterus...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize