I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
