dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
