she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Randomize
