So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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