Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
