Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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